is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
