What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
