Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
