So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
