i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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