Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Less talking, more tequila
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
