im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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