How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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