Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
