were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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