Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
