All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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