she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
