yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
where am i from again
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
