dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
