I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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