Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I supernannyed him into submission
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
