TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
