Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
