After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dick very happy bro
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
