do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
