Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
