Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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