im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
