And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
