well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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