No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
