I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
