New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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