The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
