I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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