Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
