Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
