Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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