I wannas sexs uuuuu
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
