I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
