I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
