Too much gin, very little bucket
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize