who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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