dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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