I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
