Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
