The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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