Where are you?
In a non slutty way
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
