You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was born a porn star she said
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
