hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
