It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
