Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
