This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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