Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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