hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize