I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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