we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My life is pants optional.
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