Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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