Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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