Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize